Reply to Everyone's Too Busy to Be Friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I have the same problem.  I'm a married mom with two elementary school kids (first and third grade) and I don't really have any mom friends or family friends.  When the kids were younger I was in a lot of moms' groups and made some friends there but we aged out.  I made a few acquaintaces in preschool. But then when the pandemic came along we lost touch with preschool friends and then changed schools.  We've been in our new school for 1.5 years now and have yet to make any mom friends or family friends there.  I am the one who is constantly organizing playdates for my kids.  Other parents are happy to meet up with us, but never reciprocate.  Except for a handful of birthday parties we have not been invited to anything, not even a playdate or park meetup, in the 1.5 years we've been at this new school.

Our social calendar is always empty.  No one ever thinks of us to invite us.  It makes me feel completely invisible.  I mean we do things the four of us on weekends and the kids have sports, but no one ever invites us to anything.  This past summer, I organized a playdate for my kids about twice a month (they were in summer camp the rest of the time).  No one invited us to anything all summer--no BBQs, no playdates, no meetups.

We have nothing on the calendar for the holidays either.  We're going to do a small Thanksgiving at home just the four of us and the same for Christmas.  We have no local family and family is not interested in spending holidays together.  Even our extended families ignore us.  I feel very lonely all the time.  I'm constantly wondering why no one ever thinks of us.  I work full-time but I still have plenty of time to organize playdates and put in the effort for friendships, because I make that a priority, but it feels like none of the other moms are interested in getting to know me.  DH can't seem to make friends either and has complained that people in his office make plans with each other in front of him (a few weeks ago one co-worker invited another co-worker to a BBQ right in front of him and didn't invite him).

The only thing that has really worked for me is joining newcomers' meetup groups and going to events to meet people, even though we're not new to the area.  I feel like everyone I try to make friends with (like other moms at our kids' school) already has enough friends and is not looking for more and isn't interested in getting to know me.  Ladies who recently moved here are looking to make new friends, so I've had a lot more luck meeting people who actually want to meet up by joining newcomers groups and going to the events.[/quote]

Hey you sound just like me! Same situation, I've decided everyone's existing social circles are full and they have a routine of who to invite from long ago (we are new to the school). I know some of those groups formed during the pandemic (their pods) and since we weren't around, we weren't included. The one thing I do notice about people + the newcomer groups...some people are definitely looking for status or networking via job title/where I work. Pretty sure I'm not passing that test so that's partly why we aren't getting the invites. [/quote]

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