Reply to Police handcuff kindergartner for tantrum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
What's your case load?  In high school, if some of these kids miraculously reach this level, that is, relationships with parents are dead.  plain and simple

[b]My caseload is about 50 kids, spread out in an inclusive urban elementary school of about 600 kids.  I'm not arguing about high school.  This isn't about whether it's sometimes necessary to handcuff high school students.  The discussion is about a kindergartener.  I also can't, unfortunately, argue that there will be kids with whom I fail, or parents with whom I fail to form a relationship.  But that doesn't mean that it's OK to not try.  My 20+ years of experience tells me that you can't look at a 5 year old and predict outcomes.  We have kids at our school who struggled, and whose parents didn't help, where the situation completely turned around, and other kids who seemed far less concerning at 5 who have continued to go downhill.  [/b]

Even during articulation, if you are able to talk to the middle school feeders, you'll hear the same story.

The fact of the matter is this - In low-performing clusters, where FARMs are high - it is IMPOSSIBLE to save every child. That's the sad, ugly truth.  I've seen elementary school colleagues kill themselves over a few sad cases, only to give up b/c the child has moved, which is often the case.

I don't know much about the child's school in this post, but I wonder just how difficult the population is.  So unless you have a team of teachers and administrators trained in restraint and in collaborative processes that benefit students, you will see more and more negative outcomes with regard to children who act out.

It starts with the family MOST of the time.  And I am almost certain that this child comes from a dysfunctional environment.  So take her times5 and see if one teacher can function in that class.

[b]Yes, it usually does.  That doesn't mean that the school can't attempt to be part of the solution.  I don't understand the attitude that many teachers seem to have which is that they didn't cause it so it's not their problem.  Oncologists don't cause cancer, dentists don't cause cavities, and environmentalists don't cause pollution, but all of them work on solving these issues, and teachers and administrators need to take a role in helping kids who suffer due to chaotic parenting, and broken communities.  As far as what goes on in the classroom, this is not going to make things better.  They've taken a little girl and told her "this is who we see you as, this is who you are", and trust me when I say she will likely live down to that expectation.  They've communicated to the parent that they think the child is 'bad' that the issue is one that should be punished, and not addressed therapeutically or perhaps even medically.   That's not going to lead to help for her. [/b]

It's not that easy, PP, to solve these problems - even IF you start interventions early.  Unless the parents are WILLING and ABLE to step in, you'll lose the majority of these kids.  I know.

[b]Being a parent who steps up and helps is a skill, it's something parents learn over time, and it starts with building trust.  In my school, I can point to so many families where we've worked with years.  When their oldest was in Headstart or kindergarten we were throwing up our hands, but little by little things change.  We might reap the benefits of that trust in 3rd grade, or 5th.  We might see the results with little sibling number 2 or 3 or 4.  It takes time.  Again, do I save every kid?  No.  Do I form working relationships with every parent? No.  Do I give up with a Kindergartener and decide that it's OK to cause irreparable harm to that relationship?  In Kindergarten? No.

I can't judge the school for what happened leading up to this event, because I don't know what happened..  It sounds like the police were part of the bad decision making process too.  But calling an ambulance instead of a squad car takes the same amount of time, and it protects the child's physical safety, and emotional safety far better.  It also communicates clearly to the parent "we think your child has a problem, we want you to get her help, we're working with you to make that happen." as opposed to "your child is bad".   [/quote][/quote]

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