Reply to Police handcuff kindergartner for tantrum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The point is, after working with children for over twenty years, calling the police would have never, EVER even occurred to me even if I had tried all the means you described above. [b]Do you really think the child wouldn't have calmed down after a period of time?[/b] If the bear hug approach didn't work, what about placing her in room where she could do no harm to herself or others? This is assuming that this child was really capable of doing serious harm to others. Again, if we don't realize that this is not an indictment of a six year old's behavior but an indictment of how adults handled it, we are lost.[/quote]

You're assuming this was a "normal" child.  No, she would not have necessarily have just "calmed down" eventually-- and what if she hurt herself or someone else in the mean time? [b]Your 20 years of experience doesn't add up to a hill of beans if someone ends up seriously injured[/b].

[/quote]

I agree, and I'm an educator.

Imagine YOUR child being in that class.  I wonder how calm you would be if that same incident occurred in your child's classroom.  Who cares what the root of the behavior is at that point; get her out of the room and find help.  Calling an ambulance would have been the right thing to do if restraining her didn't calm her down.

You do what you can to protect the majority.  simple fact . . .

Should I let a fight occur btw. two senior boys in my classroom b/c it would seem too outrageous to call security - and perhaps even the police?  (which has happened in my school)

No wonder the system is falling apart at the seems.  You can't save the world, hon, but you can do your best to ensure that most feel secure in their environment - b/c w/o a safe environment, there's no learning going on.  [/quote]

If my child was in that class, I'd have a vested interest in knowing that the kid was getting help that was research based and likely to work, because she'll surely be back..  Scared straight programs don't work, research shows that.  Kids don't get the message "Don't do that" they get the message that "you're the kind of person who belongs in jail" and they conform their behavior to the expectations.  [b]Furthermore, destroying the school's relationship with the parent isn't going to help.[/b]  [/quote]

That line makes me laugh!

It takes two to tango.  When a child has been in trouble throughout his/her academic career and parents have been called for many, many meetings, do you honestly think there was a relationship to begin with?

Have you tried calling home only to get a non-working number?

Have you used translators b/c of language barriers?

Have you tried to contact parents but b/c of odd work hours could never connect?

I could give a million reasons why some relationships are just not meant to be.  So please don't blame the teachers and administrators for "destroying" a relationship.  [/quote]

Yes actually, I'm the author of this post and also the one above where I stated that I was a special educator and that I thought an ambulance should have been called, and I'm also the poster who replied to the question about what happens if you call for an ambulance for a mental health crisis.

Developing relationships with parents is a huge part of what I do, and for that matter, what the general education teachers at my school do.  Sometimes that means making home visits, sometimes that means calling from home in the evening, sometimes it means using translators.  And sometimes it takes years to gain a parent's trust and form a relationship.  But even with parents who are challenging, and as a specialist in Emotional Disturbance I see my fair share, you can build relationships.

This child hasn't been in trouble "throughout her academic career", she's been in trouble for about 3/4 of Kindergarten, a little less than 6% of her "academic career".  The school and the school system may need to work on their relationship with this family for a large portion of that time.  Giving up on anything 6% of the way through is unacceptable.  [/quote]

What's your case load?  In high school, if some of these kids miraculously reach this level, that is, relationships with parents are dead.  plain and simple

Even during articulation, if you are able to talk to the middle school feeders, you'll hear the same story.

The fact of the matter is this - In low-performing clusters, where FARMs are high - it is IMPOSSIBLE to save every child. That's the sad, ugly truth.  I've seen elementary school colleagues kill themselves over a few sad cases, only to give up b/c the child has moved, which is often the case.

I don't know much about the child's school in this post, but I wonder just how difficult the population is.  So unless you have a team of teachers and administrators trained in restraint and in collaborative processes that benefit students, you will see more and more negative outcomes with regard to children who act out.

It starts with the family MOST of the time.  And I am almost certain that this child comes from a dysfunctional environment.  So take her times5 and see if one teacher can function in that class.

It's not that easy, PP, to solve these problems - even IF you start interventions early.  Unless the parents are WILLING and ABLE to step in, you'll lose the majority of these kids.  I know. [/quote]

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