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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The job you have (and how flexible it is), the kids you have (and how difficult they are), and the spacing of the kids make much more difference. [/quote]

+1, and I would add whether you have any support from family, your financial ability to pay for help to reduce some of the load, and how much your spouse shares the load (especially how willing he is take on the the heavier stuff, like supporting your kids through difficult social or academic challenges that can really weight you down as a parent).

Though I also think that all of this is also why some people choose to have fewer kids. Plenty of people recognize after one kid that their partner is not going to be an equal partner, or how hard it is to raise a kid with zero help from family, or how that your job is not as flexible as you thought, or you have a kid just demands a lot of you and you make the decision to stop at one for everyone's benefit.

It's just important to acknowledge that not everyone has the same resources or situation, and that results in very different "optimal" family situations. Which is why it's not that helpful to try and compare based just on one metric like number of kids. It's apples and oranges and pomegranates and grapes and a pineapple -- it's really not comparable.[/quote]

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