Reply to New teacher over sharing (death of newborn)

Forum Index » Schools and Education General Discussion

Reply to "New teacher over sharing (death of newborn)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a parent of a baby who died, I was nervous to open this thread and see the reactions.  I'm beyond pleasantly surprised to see the empathy and support from the majority of posters.

When someone asks me how many children I have or if this is my only (honestly, please stop asking folks this along with if they plan on having children), it's hard to know how to answer in that split second. Sometimes I say yes to protect their feelings/comfort in the conversation. Other times I say, "One living."  Typically, the person will say, "I'm so sorry," and I say, "thanks." Then I push the conversation forward.  Being a grieving parent means learning this dance and doing some light grief education for basically your whole life.  [/quote]

I lost my son at six months due to a very rare medical condition.  And this is the question that always trips me up—in casual conversation when I’m asked how many kids I have, I typically don’t want to bring up the death of my son, but always feel a twinge of guilt, regret, and sadness because he was part of our family, even if only for a brief time.  But if I had to give a “presentation” on my personal background, I would include the death of my son and a brief description of the circumstances—because it is an important part of my family and background, and because having been through that experience does affect your perspectives for the rest of your life.  Teachers at BTSN are expected to give such a presentation, or at least in my experience they typically do so (I grew up here, went to college there, am a big sports fan, love my dog, have kids, etc.).  I can’t imagine not including a discussion of a deceased child in that presentation—not doing so would be to disregard the memory of the child and would present an incomplete background.

That said, I think people are being a bit too hard on OP.  I don’t think OP is a jerk.  Life is complicated, and unless you’ve been through that experience of losing a child, it may be hard to understand the perspectives—and continuing challenges—of those who have.  As your kids get older they will be presented with challenges of their own, and hopefully this experience will help you—and them—to gain a better perspective.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics