Reply to Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child. [/quote]

What was "a bear" to you might be easy to them, and what might have been a "spectacular view" for you might have been the part that triggered their vertigo. Do you get it yet? The same journey for everyone is not, indeed, the same.

How about just smile as you pass, and if someone looks like they are struggling or worried, ask if there's anything you can do to help--then, RESPECT THE ANSWER, no matter what it is and what you think it should be.[/quote]

Why don't you just learn some basic conversational and social skills and if someone says "you're almost there!" on the trail you smile, nod, say thanks, or whatever, and not think too hard about it. 99% of people don't give much of an answer to slight encouragement. If it's not for you, just nod. They don't need your life story about aches and pains, vertigo, or what you really thought of a particular leg or view.[/quote]

Here's some basic social skills: not everyone wants to give you the attention and validation you so desperately seek. Some of us prefer to spend our time out with our baby with our baby, or our time hiking alone just hiking alone. I don't exist to give you attention and stroke your ego, Oh Wise Older Mother. [/quote]

Not PP, but if it bothers you so much that a member of the public says something to you that you don't like, maybe don't go out? It doesn't seem normal to internalize these comments so much. The fact that you view these interactions as the other mother desperately seeking your attention tells me that you are the one who doesn't understand basic social skills.  [/quote]

DP, but you're forgetting what an emotionally fraught time it is when you're a new parent.  Come on.[/quote]

Not at all. It was only a few years ago for me. Did people say things I didn't like? Of course. Did I mutter under my breath at the person when I was totally flustered, sweaty and struggling with my child? Of course. Did I stew about it and take it personally? No.  I'd just chalk it up to that person being a jerk, or a clueless idiot, or someone who's so old they don't know what the hell they are talking about, or a busybody--and I'd go about my day.[/quote]

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