Reply to PSA: when sending your kid with another parent to do an activity, please send more than $20.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was about 13 my mom sent me to stay with a friend for a week. She gave me $300. Friends mom wouldn’t let me pay for anything. And when I wanted a $20 shirt I got lectured on how much things cost and how I shouldn’t be relying on her to buy everything. As an adult I wonder what I was missing. I had money, wanted to use it and she wouldn’t let me. But yeah I probably was used to the bill being passed around and the grownup paying. [/quote]

I suspect that the friend's mom resented paying for you, even when she insisted on paying for you. This happens a lot in families that are on a budget. They can never have a clear discussion about money because it is a triggering point.  Second, they probably did not want you go wild  "shopping" with the $300 that you had, because they were not going to give the same kind of cash to their own children to spend. Especially since they were paying for everyone (including you) for the week and had already incurred expenses.

What were you missing? My guess is that the friend's mom wanted you to show your gratitude and good manners.  Something in the lines of you saying  - "Mrs Smith, thank you for this wonderful trip.   My mom had given me money so I could pay you for my expenses but you did not let me pay for anything on this trip. As a result I have all my money left. Please allow Maggie and me to use some of this saved money to buy shirts for ourselves."

Of course, as a 13 yr old, you would not have said all of these things.  But what caused the outburst was that you had all that money to shop because you did not pay for anything,  while their child did not because they paid for you. [/quote]

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