Reply to Have you ever backed out of a multi-family trip last-minute?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The people here behaving like OP is committing a federal crime sound like lunatics. I am glad I don’t know anyone like that IRL. If one of my dear friends told me that she was completely frazzled and needed to recuperate I would be disappointed but understand her need. I would certainly not come down on her like a ton of bricks. 
Be better.[/quote]

You have no idea if you know anyone like this IRL. I'm one of the people disappointed in OP, and I wouldn't tell her or you this IRL. I'd smile and say "no problem" while recategorizing her as someone who knowingly overbooked her summer and when it came time to cut something, we were at the top of the list. I'm sorry, that's just how I would feel. You don't get to tell me my feelings are wrong. [/quote]
So you’re just vindictive and petty. [/quote]

No. [b]I just don't like feeling like someone's lowest priority.[/b] If that doesn't bother you, good for you. Again, my feelings are mine. You don't get to say what they should or should not be. [/quote]

NP -- It must be very hard going through life thinking that everything is about you.  I mean that quite sincerely.  Have you tried to use empathy and imagination?

[/quote]

OP had numerous things she could have eliminated to simply her summer and/or give herself a break. She chose this particular trip to cut. I'm simply stating a fact. [/quote]

I am the OP. I went back and forth over what I could not do. Back out of a work project? Not doable. [b]Not go on vacation with my rather stressful extended family? Not a choice.[/b] Not send my kid to camp? It's nonrefundable. I'm just a person doing their best. I hope you give your friends grace [/quote]

DP, but why is the bolded not a choice?  Of course it's a choice.  That's the one thing I don't understand - and I do have very stressful family.  I sure as hell don't prioritize them over the friends who are there for me through thick and thin.

Now, I think many people are putting too much weight on this one weekend trip, but broadly, it's worth considering where we invest our energy.  [/quote]

I think part of having friends who are "there for you through thick and thin" is being a forgiving friend who can see when another one is hitting a wall. That's how true friendship is built and sustained, not by forcing someone to check a box and show up at a weekend trip when they're at the end of a rope. We all just do our best and try to make the right choices. Honestly, some people can't get out of a big family vacation without it causing major in-law fallout, spouse fights, god knows what else. Whereas saying to a dear friend or two, hey, I need a weekend at home, is far easier. Life isn't so black and white.[/quote]

Yeah, I didn't suggest the world is only black or white.  I specifically pointed out that many people are blowing this particular weekend out of proportion.  It can be very difficult to balance various life commitments.  And, of course, people have to prioritize their own reserves in order to be a good friend.

The more honest way to say "not a choice" in this case is that the choice to turn down a stressful family vacation isn't worth the fallout, even if that means ultimately being too overwhelmed to join friends for a weekend tradition. If a close friend said that to me, of course I would understand, as I would expect them to do for me.  That's a very different tone than "I had no choice," which is what I think some people on this thread are reacting to.  [/quote]

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