Reply to Grandparent bypassed parent to make plans directly with young child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. For a little background, my father is constantly trying to make plans on behalf of other people. When I was pregnant he announced that he expected to spend at least one weekend per month visiting without asking me if that would work. He buys tickets to visit and I have to dodge his calls so he doesn’t actually just show up. No amount of time spent together is enough.

I don’t know what the diagnosis is, but it doesn’t seem normal. [/quote]

You are visiting HIM.  It’s normal for the host to plan activities for their guests, show them around town and hit the local kid friendly hot spots.  You need to let yourself fall into the role of guest when you are in his home.[/quote]

[b]Nope! Good hosts recognize the needs of their guests, especially small children[/b]. If I planned late-night loud parties while my elderly uncle who is ill and needs lots of rest is visiting, am I a good host? Would he be a “bad guest” not to join in carousing at the risk of his health and peace of mind?

Small children do not care that they are “guests,” they still have basic biological needs, and if the hosts cannot be reasonably flexible and cognizant of those needs, they have no business hosting small children and parents of small children. Hotel.

And by the way, even when only hosting adults, good hosts *communicate ideas* for activities to their guests, they do not drag them around on a forced march of what they want to do without taking their guests’ needs and preferences into consideration. [/quote]

And yet in this case, the child was very excited by grandpa’s plan so obviously he took the child’s interests in mind when he offered it.  That’s what good hosts do - think about the options in the area and propose them with the person’s interests in mind.  There wasn’t a “need” here that the child wasn’t having met, OP was just worked up about transportation logistics that she wasn’t even willing to address with her dad in a mature, lets-work-this-out mindset.  She just shot him looks.  [/quote]

She did t say “interests.” She said “needs.” Reading comprehension much?[/quote]

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