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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

It’s amazing how women can tell men what they want until we are blue in the face and they’ll be like “nah, I know what these ladies are really after.”[/quote]

DP. Not trying to justify the guy ranting about women liking tall guys. But I will say that there is some background for guys being somewhat dismissive of what women say they want. A lot of us were watching in high school and college and what women said they wanted didn't seem to line up too well with the guys they actually seemed to be going out with. The good looking jocks who treated everyone like crap (except, temporarily, the girl he was trying to get with) seemed to always have an attractive girl to date. The sensitive guys with a sense of humor (but no athletic ability) were frequently dateless despite ranking high in some of the categories women said they wanted.

I think some of this can be chalked up to women not feeling free to be forthcoming about some of their more shallow desires. Also, the societal expectation that men make the first move made it to where the assertive assholes were the path of least resistance for women who were too shy or otherwise reluctant to make the first move themselves. Also, as women mature, so do their tastes in men. So, there are reasons for this other than that women are duplicitous or ignorant of their true desires. But what men hear women say they want doesn't necessarily match a man's lived experience (as the kids say) of the guys women seem to date. [/quote]

High school and college? So, like, girls who didn’t yet know themselves, perhaps were still making decisions based on peer pressure, and weren’t looking for long-term relationships?

As you pointed out, women mature. Hopefully men do the same and realize that that women considering long-term relationships are no longer looking for the affirmation of peers by kissing the captain of the football team. [/quote]

You're not wrong. But I don't think you can dismiss these formative impressions as irrelevant. A lot of men see this maturing as a shift from selecting for sexual attraction to selecting for material gain. Men want to be the object of sexual desire and don't care so much about being a provider of resources (except insofar as that makes them sexually desirable.) It's entirely possible that men who see it this way are just flat wrong, but I don't think this perspective can be ignored entirely. [/quote]

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