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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When people tell me they have really frequent sex I assume it’s just the guy pumping away for a few minutes, most of the time. No one has time or energy for elaborate sex every day. [/quote]

Sorry you feel that way.  Both DH and I have a pretty high drive and we generally feed off each others energy in that department.   While the actual acts aren't always elaborate, the mental energy that we put into before and during and after can be pretty elaborate.

We have a commitment to engage in some form of intimacy each day, not always physically.    We always wake up with some type of physical touch, even just him pulling me close and rest his hand my hip or tracing his finger along my shoulders.

DH has never just pumped away for a few minutes.  He wouldn't be into that and it would do nothing for him.    In conversations with friends I have realized that our vanilla is their elaborate, and our elaborate would leave them in shock.

My point is there are some amazing men out there who are also amazing lovers.  If he puts the effort in I have no issue putting the effort in also.   This is also something that was discussed early on in our relationship. As much as people talk about what kind of relationship they want, it also important to discuss what type of relationship they don't want.   We didn't want to lose intimacy, be in a dead bedroom relationship and not be able to share our desires and needs.   So we talked about what we would need to prevent that from happening which led to the conversation about what we both need and want.[/quote]

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