Reply to What do you think is the most ideal family set up?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some observations- most of the ones who have replied B just state it without an explanation. Because it’s the obvious choice perhaps? Or because they don’t want a SAHM/Wohm fight? Others who mention A or C usually elaborate more and back it up by saying that’s what they are doing- there seems to be a need to justify the choice here. D is uniformly unpopular. [/quote]

I like “B” the best.  I have some ADHD tendencies and so does my husband.  I’m happy to be the working parent or the at home parent, but I find being split between both to be difficult, and things get dropped.  [/quote]

OMG! You have no idea how much this comment helps me. I have ADHD and part of me really wants to go back to work, but I would still be the primary parent and I really struggle when I have more than one big thing going on in life (most recently it was dealing with homeschooling to avoid virtual learning during the pandemic while also doing a bathroom renovation; I had to postpone the renovation). So since my husband doesn’t care what I do, and i have always done best when I’m not split between two big things, I’m sticking with B. [/quote]

I don’t even have ADHD and I relate to this. I did go back to work PT when my kids started school, but even without an ADHD brain, I find balancing even my PT job and being the primary parent to be really hard. My DH actually does quite a bit, and Covid has enabled him to WFH some which helps a lot. But I still find that I’m never really performing well at both things at the same time. Something always gets back burnered.

But we also don’t have/can’t afford outsourced help (not even house cleaning). So I’m truly juggling kids, work, household management, etc. Again, DH helps a lot. But it takes the form of unloading the dishwasher or making dinner once a week. I’m the one organizing, scheduling, planning, etc. I really do not think I could do this with a full time job, even if we had weekly cleaners.[/quote]

That’s so interesting. I can handle a 60 hour workweek, but I struggle a lot with a 20 hour workweek plus being the primary parent, even though it probably doesn’t actually require more hours of total work. [/quote]

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