Reply to AITA for thinking bride is heinous?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to derail this thread, but I find this whole "bridesmaids paying for every thing" for American weddings very cheap and low class.

We are immigrants. When my DD got married, her BFF hosted the bridal shower at our house, but we paid for everything because we felt that the BFF did not have to spend money on top of planning everything.  We also paid for the travel costs, room and meals for their bachelorette party.  DD was adamant that there would be no gifts.  The fact that these girls coordinated their schedules, took time off from work and came together to celebrate my DD for a weekend was already too much of an ask.

For the wedding, I paid for the dresses for the bridal party, hair,  makeup, meals, room, transportation. It is ridiculous to have a bridal party and expect everyone to spring for a dress that they would normally would not buy.  I think that the tradition of having a bridal party should be simplified. Let everyone wear what they want to wear or pay for their matching outfits.[/quote]

Ok? Maybe in your culture things are different. [/quote]

Thank God for that.  I can however still point out where the other "culture" fails and is "cultureless".   FWIW, none of my DD's bridesmaids most of whom were WASP Americans, came protesting that they wanted to follow their "culture" of paying from out of pocket for my DD's wedding celebrations. Instead, most of them were very grateful that they did not have to pay for anything.

I suspect this is not even something that is related to the WASP "culture" but the modern perversion brought about by the trashy pop cultural phenomenon of "Bridezillas".

[/quote]

+100000

Back in the day when all my friends got married, no one had crazy expectations of multiple parties and gifts upon gifts. There were no girls trips. If your friend lived far enough away to require airfare, they usually didn't participate. Most of my friends were married in small churches with the reception in the basement. There have been so many horrible tv shows that have normalized over the top expectations even for people who are poor.

The first nanny I ever hired was 20 years younger than me and she and her husband ran out of money every month. I paid her a salary well above the norm for a part time job. Her wedding cost 4 x more than mine did and she had Tiffany everything. Their families had no money so she and and dh went in to debt to get married. She was pregnant when she worked for me and you should have seen the list of items on her baby registry. I belonged to multiple moms groups and got everything used. She never once did anything like that. DH and I were well paid professionals who were going to buying a house. We knew where our money should be going. [/quote]

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