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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think fluid custody situations like these are often not good because it’s allowing the kids to choose. That can create a situation where kids choose to stay with the more relaxed parent who has less rules, and or can create a race to the bottom situation where parents worry that if they set rules or hold the kids to higher expectations of behavior, the kids will choose the other parent. It gives the kids too much power, in a way that’s not good for the kids. Better for the kids to know the parents are the ones deciding who lives where when, and just follow those rules.[/quote]

Letting kids have some choice and feeling like they have some control and agency over their own lives is not a bad thing. We're not talking about drugs and shenanigans here - this is simply about where they choose to feel comfortable and "home". Kids from divorced parents have already been pushed and pulled and often feel adrift as it is - following some weird rulebook - especially when they are teens for no other reason other than "RULES!" is ridiculous.

Nowhere has OP said that they have behavior issues or some other interaction problems with her now husband. He simply doesn't like them around. That's the issue. Not the kids. Not the schedule. As she's stated - they are older, don't need constant babysitting and doesn't interfere with anything that they'd like to do such as dates, errands, etc. I'm not understanding why posters are saying what he's asking for is reasonable - unless OP is not sharing his true issues with the kids then this is a husband problem.[/quote]

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