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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think fluid custody situations like these are often not good because it’s allowing the kids to choose. That can create a situation where kids choose to stay with the more relaxed parent who has less rules, and or can create a race to the bottom situation where parents worry that if they set rules or hold the kids to higher expectations of behavior, the kids will choose the other parent. It gives the kids too much power, in a way that’s not good for the kids. Better for the kids to know the parents are the ones deciding who lives where when, and just follow those rules.[/quote]

I agree with this in theory; however, in the real world, parents often just can't get a long and are parallel parenting rather than co-parenting.  Anecdotally, I have one child from an earlier relationship where I have about 80% custody and his dad would love more time, but he's just not cut out to be anything other than a fun weekend dad.  To give concrete examples, at his house there are no rules, no curfews, no homework, and school is optional.  It is a very difficult balance between raising our child the way that I know will set him up for success later in life versus keeping him happy in my home (with my new husband and younger half siblings), and we make compromises in our home in favor of keeping him here, such as allowing him to play fornite on his xbox (hate that game), letting him stay up later than he sometimes should, keeping some of the same junk food that he gets at his dad's house around, etc.  I had to adjust my thinking about the "race to the bottom" because for me and my son, the true bottom would be him pushing to live full time with his dad.  [/quote]

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