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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's weird that you'd listen to a man that says he loves you enough to marry you with kids - but only if he doesn't have to see them all the time.

I'd get into counseling - I mean really if I'm being honest, I'd probably go nuke and ask for a divorce. And for others saying "put your spouse first" - that's alarming as hell. It's one thing if he wants to address his needs not being met, or unhappiness with something in the relationship, but just to say - I don't want your kids around, well because of nothing but that they are around is awful. He wants "quiet time"? What does that even mean? He doesn't have to "do" anything for them admittedly and obviously knew that you had them. Custody decisions change all the time - what if the dad had to move out of state or something happened and you had to have custody full time? These are things that can happen when you marry someone with children.

I think he's an asshole and I wouldn't make the kids go home ever. They obviously feel comfortable there and all this "structured" business that people are talking about is nonsense. The best thing to do for kids in a divorce is to provide them environment(s) where they feel loved, wanted, and supported and what works for that family. The new husband not wanting them around simply because of their presence is a huge red flag and really is telling about he feels about the kids in general. If the mere presence of my kids being in my home bothers my partner - my partner would no longer be my partner.

I'd really rethink the marriage with kids and what that means to both of you.[/quote]

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