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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of everything discussed and listed, imo as someone who works with high risk kids, it is this:

[b]  4. Modern parenting strategies[/b]

The #s 1, 2 and 3 of your list (the use of social media, the lack of socialization, and the inability of kids to flex) all comes down to poor parenting.  Modern parents aren't modeling these behaviors the way they should.[/quote]

Can you elaborate though? Because the main complaint I hear about modern parenting strategies is that [b]it’s too involved, too child focused, too many activities, to many restrictions, etc. That parents are too involved, make things too easy, etc.[/b] But the other stuff on this list pretty much requires a highly involved approach. You are not restricting social media, getting your kids socializing more, if you aren’t highly involved. The societal pressure on kids is intense so I think many parents step in to try to create a buffer and allow their kids to have more of an extended childhood, but then get accused of coddling.

I think it’s really hard to parent right now, but especially teens. I also feel like the DMV feels like an especially bad environment for it. We’re looking at moving somewhere more rural possibly because it might enable a more safe and relaxed teenagerhood. But we don’t want them isolated. I just don’t know.[/quote]

I think the bolded is exactly what is wrong with modern parenting and it creates so many of these problems.  We’ve idealized childhood as this time that nothing is suppose to go wrong, and kids need to be shielded and protected from everything, and should be a time full of fun.  You hear parents say all the time about them believing kids are grouping up too soon or how childhood is so short they want their kids to really enjoy it.  But the truth is the purpose of childhood is learning, growing, maturing to be able to handle adulthood, just like every other mammal.  Yet, we purposely stop our kids from this process and slow it down as much as we possible can.

If modern parents kept the purpose in mind then they wouldn’t indulge their kids so much because they would understand that its not good for them long term.  They wouldn’t  shield them from all failure or difficulties, because they know its not good for them long term and they don’t learn lessons.  The wouldn’t act like life revolves around kids only, because it doesn’t teach them that life is a shared community where everyone needs to pitch in.  Many parents are putting pressures on kids because 1) they live vicariously and judge themselves and others based on the kids, and 2) we’ve disengaged civically so much that power and money lies in the hands of so few that its made it harder and harder for Others.  And we’ve allowed that power and wealth to be the ideal instead of community.  Teens invariably crumble of the pressure because they’ve been coddled and indulged up till then and haven’t deceloped any coping strategies or the ability to deal with failure.[/quote]

It's not about not wanting kids to grow up at all, it's about not forcing them to grow up before they have to. What's so wrong with letting kids just be kids? Plenty of decades to adult once you turn 18.[/quote]

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