Reply to Why Men Cheat - How Can I Break This Cycle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Someone posted this article and it really hit home, particularly this passage:

"To them, their wives treat sex as a chore and lack all enthusiasm about it. Men internalise that disinterest as, “I’m not good enough” and “I’m a disappointment.” They feel undervalued not only as a sexual partner, but as a person."

https://www.marieclaire.com.au/why-do-men-cheat

I have cheated on my wife 2x in short term affairs over our 18 year marriage. It really does seem to stem from her treating sex as a chore, an infrequent one at that, and no matter how many conversations I have, nothing changes. Is there a way to learn to accept this or does it always end in cheating? Any men out there that did therapy that helped?
[/quote]

“I’m cheating on my wife but I’m pretty sure it’s her fault right?”[/quote]

I mean, it kinda is.

- DW[/quote]

it’s the chicken or the egg dilemma, wife willingly or not punishes husband because this and that, resentment for past or present behaviors, by not having sex with him, then husband willingly or not punishes wife by cheating, either needs that human connection with the affair partner, getting back his self confidence

the conclusion, the fault lies with both wife and husband, as with the child education, punishment never works, better try reward, husband must reward every effort wife makes, and wife rewards good deeds from husband

or you can say it gets to that point through no fault of anyone, it’s just how life goes

marriage is an artificial social construct, fidelity is another artificial construct, mainly religious, it does make sense from multiple aspects but it doesn’t from few others [/quote]

You get to the heart of this. Sort of reminds me of the Russia Ukraine standoff. Sure we can help beat Russia but they literally have the nuclear option.

It's why women hate cheaters so much. It dilutes the power of refusal to have sex if men can get it elsewhere.

Like a comedian once said, everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power[/quote]

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