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Reply to "Ladies, are you heavier than your mother?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Nope, my mom (early 70s) is much heavier than me and has been since she was my current age (late 30s/early 40s). She was very trim when she was younger though. I always assumed I'd start to gain after kids and in middle age as she did, but I haven't. My new working theory is that past trauma makes you more likely to gain weight (and have accompanying health issues like diabetes, heart disease, etc.) and also makes it harder to lose. My mom had very abusive, alcoholic parents and a very traumatic upbringing. She has never really dealt with it -- she has rejected therapy is unhelpful and I think it is too hard for her to accept that what her parents did was wrong because they indoctrinated her into this idea that there is something genetically wrong with her family. She just walks around in a cloud of guilt and shame and has her entire life. And now of course that gets extended to her weight as well -- she is very self-loathing, especially of her body. I also had childhood trauma (with a mother dealing with these issues, you can imagine) but I was fortunate to find help in my 20s and have used therapy liberally. I still struggle but I've worked through it. I honestly think this has saved me from similar health issues. I think talking through my issues, practicing self-love and self-acceptance, have all helped me to stay healthier and struggle less with compulsive eating, as well as to take care of my body via exercise and other forms of self-care. There is actually some evidence behind this theory -- look up "ACES score" and see. I think there is something to it.[/quote]
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