Reply to If you lost weight for your spouse, did it help your marriage?

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Reply to "If you lost weight for your spouse, did it help your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband of 15 years asked me to lose weight.  He said that he wasn’t attracted to me and hadn’t been in a long time.  We have three kids.  I put on most of the weight while I was carrying my middle child and some other life things were going on at the same time.  But my youngest is in first grade now, so, while I put it on during pregnancy, it’s hard to claim that it’s baby weight.

Even still, I’m angry that he even asked.  I have gone through a lot with him and done a lot for him.  I am a fairly highly paid professional, a good mom, a good partner and friend to him, and a creative and fun sexual partner.  Why can’t he overlook this one thing?

So, I look at articles about weight loss and marriage, and I see that marriages improve, and people feel sexier and more confident.  But it’s been about three months, I have lost 20 of the 40lbs that he asked me to lose, and all I really feel is irritated and resentful.  And our sex life, like my daily meals, has stopped being a source of pleasure (and fantasy), and is now boring and monotonous at best.

Did anyone else experience this dip initially?  Did it eventually get better?[/quote]

Do you do any strength training OP?[/quote]

I did some hit or miss before all of this.  I was a college athlete, and have been coaching high school teams off and on over the last twenty years.  
I have been doing strength training 2-3 days a week for the last three months as part of my weight loss routine.  [/quote]

OP, if you’re still reading this thread, what are you hoping to hear that you haven’t already?  That you’ll lose the weight and eventually stop being resentful and things will improve?  They might, but that also sounds like pretty magical thinking, given everything else you’ve described going on in your marriage.

I think many women would struggle to have a spouse whom they needed to fully support for several years, who then moved to a new city while they were pregnant with their third (!) child, who expected them to go along with this massive life change, and then when they miraculously did all that *still wanted them to lose weight*.

Given all you describe you’ve given to and up for this marriage, I’d be a human flame-thrower by now.[/quote]

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