Reply to For all the parents complaining that the admissions process is rigged against their kids--

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results.  It's not fair and there is nothing we can do. 
.[/quote]

But parents on here aren't doing this.  They aren't sitting their kids down and saying "look you have so many unfair advantages outside of your control, that make it more likely that you, relative to the average child of color born on the same day in this country, will end up at these schools.  Statistics make that 100% clear."

They are telling their kids "every way that you are advantaged, and there are many of them, is "fair", and we will take advantage of them as much as possible.  the one way that you aren't advantaged as much as people like you in previous generations is unfair, and we will whine as loudly as we can about that. "

[/quote]

Pp here and I’m not saying any such thing.  I tell my white kids they need to do better in school and extracurriculars than their friends who are URMs to get into the same schools.  They also have to do better than legacies and I tell them that as well (a number of their friends want to go to where their parents did or know they have a leg up there so makes sense to rank no. 1).  My kids are very privileged no doubt.  I work hard in part to provide those benefits, a terrific school, access to great educational programs, travel, the ability to choose jobs out of interest rather than for pay through high school. I’m lucky o had the opportunity to go into a field o love that is also high paying.  Most people don’t have that option in a predictable way.  I had to work very hard, but also got lucky.  None of this changes whether my kids need to do better in school than their URM peers to get into the same college.  [/quote]

It is just such an odd message to be sending to your child.  Tens of thousands of students are vying for these spots.  Even with the inequities that favor athletes or legacies or major donors ar URMs,  I have no way of knowing if any of those bumped my kid or if it was just a more outstanding math whiz.  I cant imagine telling my student  that one if those spots was yours but that kid took it.

There are way too many qualified kids vying for very few spots. I am going to focus on supporting and celebrating what my kid can and does achieve instead of instilling grievances that can't ever be verified.  And is also taught to congratulate the achievements of other people instead of wallowing in self pity.[/quote]

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