Reply to If you had a bad sleeper but didn’t sleep train…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if sleep training won’t work for your child, you have to commit to doing something to help him sleep. If he’s wild with exhaustion, he needs help or medication or something. I’m a PP whose second child didn’t respond to sleep training, and my husband and I didn’t many nights sleeping while holding him in a chair! I spent several months sitting by his crib for an hour holding his hand til he fell asleep, even after he was able to sleep through the night. He finally starting falling asleep fast and staying asleep all night when we dropped his nap at 2.5.

To me, if you know you don’t want to CIO, just cosleep from the beginning. A lot of people who try to cosleep later either do it on nights where they are desperate bc their kid is having a particularly bad night, but it’s not going to work bc your kid is having a bad night that night. Or it’s such a novel thing that the kid can’t relax while cosleeping for the first couple nights.[/quote]

I completely agree, I just haven’t found the answer. CMPA diet hasn’t fixed it. We’ve been to 3 different pediatricians who have all been dismissive and said she’s doing great. We’ve tried: cosleeping (huge failure), every sleep sack imaginable, Babywise schedule and many different bedtimes, mini crib, Snoo, bassinet, regular crib, our room, own room, different temperatures, solids, Dohm and Hatch sound machines, dad puts to sleep, mom puts to spring, dream feeds, “le pause”, a lovey, I could go on and on. We are trying. It’s all I think about. Trust me, the urgency of helping my child get enough sleep and avoid cognitive decline is not lost on me.

Despite her not getting enough sleep, she’s very happy and always wakes up happy, almost never cries, and is hitting her all milestones. I think that’s why pediatricians are blowing us off.[/quote]

Sorry, I think I misunderstood part of the thread - I thought you said somewhere your child was tired and unhappy all day. But she’s actually happy, well rested, and meeting her milestones? So why do you say she’s not getting enough sleep?[/quote]

OP here: She was unhappy all day when we tried co-sleeping for two weeks because she slept so unbelievably poorly.

And to the pp who asked about her total sleep, most days it’s 11 hours total so not enough: 8-9 at night, and 2-3 of naps (she still does 4 naps because she’ll only sleep 40 minutes and will only nap being held, which I’m also in total despair about and have tried many times to fix).[/quote]

I really think you are driving yourself crazy with too high expectations.

If your daughter is happy and meeting milestones on 11 hrs of sleep and you’ve tried everything to change it, then she probably does not need more sleep! For my son who was a “bad sleeper,” he pretty much always got 11 hrs of sleep, and it took dropping naps completely to put all those 11 hrs at night.

I think you need to let go of your nap ideas. My first baby, who slept through the night 12 hrs at 4 months, I actually held her for naps til she was 10 months old! There was a time where she was taking 2 35-min naps during the day, and it was fine! It’s not what the books said, but she was happy and growing great. Maybe your 4 naps is why she doesn’t sleep well at night? Also I’m imagining that you’re spending a lot of time settling down for these naps instead of being up and outside and exploring and using her energy.[/quote]

OP here. This is a really interesting post. Maybe you are right. I guess I find it hard to believe my child is so weird/special that somehow she just doesn’t need even close to the amount of sleep all other babies need. I’m worried she seems fine but it’s actually affecting her development and we’ll just never know what she would have been like had she gotten enough sleep. But maybe you’re right and she’s fine and I need to lower my expectations and accept she’s abnormal but fine.[/quote]

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