Reply to If you had a bad sleeper but didn’t sleep train…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if sleep training won’t work for your child, you have to commit to doing something to help him sleep. If he’s wild with exhaustion, he needs help or medication or something. I’m a PP whose second child didn’t respond to sleep training, and my husband and I didn’t many nights sleeping while holding him in a chair! I spent several months sitting by his crib for an hour holding his hand til he fell asleep, even after he was able to sleep through the night. He finally starting falling asleep fast and staying asleep all night when we dropped his nap at 2.5.

To me, if you know you don’t want to CIO, just cosleep from the beginning. A lot of people who try to cosleep later either do it on nights where they are desperate bc their kid is having a particularly bad night, but it’s not going to work bc your kid is having a bad night that night. Or it’s such a novel thing that the kid can’t relax while cosleeping for the first couple nights.[/quote]

I completely agree, I just haven’t found the answer. CMPA diet hasn’t fixed it. We’ve been to 3 different pediatricians who have all been dismissive and said she’s doing great. We’ve tried: cosleeping (huge failure), every sleep sack imaginable, Babywise schedule and many different bedtimes, mini crib, Snoo, bassinet, regular crib, our room, own room, different temperatures, solids, Dohm and Hatch sound machines, dad puts to sleep, mom puts to spring, dream feeds, “le pause”, a lovey, I could go on and on. We are trying. It’s all I think about. Trust me, the urgency of helping my child get enough sleep and avoid cognitive decline is not lost on me.

Despite her not getting enough sleep, she’s very happy and always wakes up happy, almost never cries, and is hitting her all milestones. I think that’s why pediatricians are blowing us off.[/quote]

Sorry, I think I misunderstood part of the thread - I thought you said somewhere your child was tired and unhappy all day. But she’s actually happy, well rested, and meeting her milestones? So why do you say she’s not getting enough sleep?[/quote]

OP here: She was unhappy all day when we tried co-sleeping for two weeks because she slept so unbelievably poorly.

And to the pp who asked about her total sleep, most days it’s 11 hours total so not enough: 8-9 at night, and 2-3 of naps (she still does 4 naps because she’ll only sleep 40 minutes and will only nap being held, which I’m also in total despair about and have tried many times to fix).[/quote]

She may only be taking 40 minute naps because you’re still offering 4. My son didn’t stretch his naps beyond 30-40 minutes until we dropped to 2 and stretched to 3 hour wake windows all day. I couldn’t believe it but even being rocked to sleep for naps, he finally had enough sleep pressure to just connect sleep cycles on his own after being a chronic cat napper since 4 weeks old. I held to extend every nap until he was on 2.

Our days looked roughly like this once we dropped to 2 naps:
7am - wake up
10-11:30 am morning nap
2:30-4pm afternoon nap
7pm bedtime

Wasn’t always exactly like that but hour+ for both naps once we extended. If he didn’t get 3 hours of day sleep between the 2 naps, we’d put him to bed at 6/6:30 so he wasn’t overtired by bedtime.[/quote]

Were we doing 4 because she was still only sleeping 30-40 min with 3 naps but that was a while ago so maybe we should extend the wake windows and try again. Thank you[/quote]

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