Reply to Depressed about having a baby post 35

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, it sucks when our plans don't work out.
I would have rather had my kids 10 years earlier than at 36 and 38.  I would have had more time to devote to career upon returning to work and had more time to help with potential grandchildren later on.
But hey, it beats having kids in your 40s.

A lot of people on here talk about how easy it is to conceive after 40 or how healthy their kids are.
It's a self-selected group here.  The ones who are unsuccessful generally don't toot their horns about it.  And, similarly, the ones who didn't have healthy kids are unlikely to talk about it.
I had a friend in grad school who never talked about his mom, would kind of embarassingly turn away when the topic of parents came up. Turns out she had him when she was 40.  His father was 10 years older. So I think his mom was around 63 when we were first year in grad school, and so his father would have been 73+. My mother still had 22 years until her retirement in 2013 at that point. When my parents retired, I know I felt some responsibility to be there for them - I can't imagine having that kind of burden when one is still just starting out in adulthood. 
He was an only child. Never went home after grad school.  He married his college sweetheart immediately, settled down quickly and began his family early. I guess he felt his older mother was more of a liability than an asset to his wife and young kids. I thought he was kind of selfish.  I guess he felt it too and was embarassed about that as well.
 
Get some Ovulation predictor sticks and just go have your babies. Stay healthy for them.  Good luck.[/quote]

What. In. The. Hell. Is. This.

One person's bad relationship with their parents isn't evidence of anything. My parents had all their kids in their 20s. They were immature and had no idea what they were doing, and that lack of maturity harmed their relationship with us. My parents were in their 50s when I was in grad school but I didn't have a good relationship with them at all at the time. I sincerely hope none of my grad school friends too that as evidence that they should avoid having kids young! It's one person's experience. There are lots of factors that go into these things. [/quote]

Nobody ever polls how kids feel about having old parents.
That poster who crowed about 50 year old new moms, ugh.  Why do that to the child?[/quote]

Nobody ever asks kids if they want to be born to teen moms, either. Or drug addicts. Or those born into war or oppression. Or the uneducated. Or the extremely religious. Or morbidly obese people. Or people who die young. It’s one of those things where kids don’t get a vote. And as snarky as you want to be, most kids if given a choice would take an older, financially stable parent over any of these. But. Doesn’t work that way.[/quote]

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