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Reply to "Do you wish you had your children younger"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]10:04 - you missed my point. I don't care when you had kids. I don't care IF you have kids. I was responding to a few nasty posters who were leveling nasty accusations about career women who waited too long to have kids. Those accusations get tired and silly. There are plenty of young moms out there, and that's great, but for a lot of us, that just wasn't how things turned out. It's fine if you chose to have kids early - or didn't choose and had kids early anyway - but a lot of us didn't meet the guy in our 20's, or at all. [b]I just think it's a silly myth that women should be blamed for their infertility because they "chose to wait" for too long - in most of the cases I know, it wasn't a choice, but a circumstance.[/b][/quote] In some cases, this is true. But, for the vast majority of the people that I know that are either in this situation, or came close to being in this situation (i.e., met the guy at 35-40, got married, had kids), it happened more like this: Girl goes to law school and does really well. Girl joins a law firm and works like crazy with no time to go out and meet people. Spends late 20s at work, going out very rarely with a guy she knows isn't right, rarely going out with friends in a situation where she would just meet someone. Girl prioritizes pleasing boss/clients, and gets golden handcuffs. Girl turns 30. Girl starts to realize that clock is ticking. Girl doesn't yet want to give up job with long hours because that has become her life and she has the golden handcuffs. Girl either tries to make partner, thus delaying more, or frantically starts internet dating. In mid-thirties, and a bit desperate, it is hard to find a compatible person. Some make it, and some don't. I'm not judging. This scenario describes most of my best friends. Moreover, but for the grace of god, go I. Instead, I was one who married so early that, even with waiting almost a decade, I was still fairly young to become a mom, for DC standards. But, it is not wrong at all to say that these women are in this situation because they (like I) prioritized their career over having a family when they were younger. [/quote] I believe you when you say this is the case for your girlfriends, but not mine. I'm 32 and have lived in DC since right out of college, 22. I have 4-5 very good girlfriends who, while they do have careers, have put family and dating first and it's been a priority for them. Unfortunately DC is a difficult place to find someone, as so many of the men are also work-centric and you tend to really only meet people in your "circle". They are now all between the ages of 30-34 and still single, want to meet the right man just as much now as they did in their 20's. It's been a difficult journey for them. I didn't meet my DH until 30, again not because I was putting career first. [/quote]
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