Reply to Tell me about adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my opinion, adoption is trauma, for the mother and the child, at least the way it was practiced in the 1920s-1970s, conservatively. I have a father and husband who were adopted. Maybe the trauma gets balanced out in some cases. But there is trauma.

Some people have this crazy idea of adoption that they "save" a poor infant. There are some stories like that. But mostly, for the majority of recent past, young women were forced into giving up babies they loved to people who were better positioned. Babies as commodity. And now, you barely get a baby unless you hire someone to gestate for you.

Today it's hard to adopt an infant, but easier to adopt an older child who comes  with emotional problems, special needs, etc. Those kids are waiting for homes while most prospective adoptive parents want a perfect infant.

I feel bad for people who want to adopt and are waiting. But not sure I could make the same choice. I respect you for it, if you understand the trauma and are not in a fantasy world of creating a family without considering what went on before.

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It’s not the adoption that causes the trauma; it’s the circumstances that lead to birth parents placing their children for adoption. Don’t blame adoption.[/quote]

For the scoop era babies,  there was no actual situation was traumatic.  An unwed pregnancy is not trauma. An affair isn't traumatic, a young mother isn't traumatic unless the society says it is and removes the child because of misogyny.  Now? It's more often than not elitism. Why should a well to do couple have a baby over a poor mother who can't raise a child and continue to educate herself and survive, regardless of what country the mother is from? Why not help the mother? It's still an industry- look at how the GOP fuels it. [/quote]
Why do you think that all these mothers want and are capable of raising their children? I agree with you about the past, and I. Any speak to international adoptions because I don’t know enough about it. But here, it is possible to raise your kids, no matter how poor you are. It’s not easy, but I know it’s possible because I come from a family that had plenty of young, unwed mothers (not that this is the only demographic choosing adoption). My own mother had 3 kids before she eventually married and had a fourth. I am an adoptive mom and I met my daughter’s birth mother. She was in her late 20’s and She had one child and said that raising her second was not fair to her first child or my daughter. I hope my DD reconnects with her birth parents if she wants to do that. Her mom made the choice that she thought was best for everyone involved. She wasn’t forced into it.[/quote]

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