Reply to I finally set a boundary with in laws and they made me feel bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not sure why your husband wasn’t in this conversation.  If I had said to my husband “lets ask your parents to come at 5,” he would have known about the driving in the dark issue (since it’s super common with older people) and said to me that that wouldn’t work.  So we would have gone into the conversation with the in laws on much firmer ground, being able to say that we were so excited to have them but not ready for them until 4.  The problem is that the minute they had to push back on 5, which was a reasonable push back, it made your guests feel uncomfortable.  That is something you want to avoid as a host, much less as family hosting.  It doesn’t matter how annoying they have been in the past - in this situation, you appeared ungracious.

I think the boundaries need to set with your husband going forward since presumably he knows them best.[/quote]

My husband has always had this job before but typically they have always come hours early. This time because I am juggling so much it was important to me that the ‘wait I thought they were coming at 3 yet here they are at 1’ thing didn’t happen so I included tbe time in an email about tomorrow and mil called me. I also said ‘5ish’ so a ton of scope for them to say ‘ok might be a tiny bit earlier bc we’d rather drive in the light’ (that bit was not in fact awkward). What was awkward was when mil said we want to come in the am. I tried to politely explain that we had a mountain of errands and prep so a bit later in the day was better and she seemed super miffed. I was super caught off guard tbh bc we do see them a lot and mainly bc it would never cross my mind if someone said ‘please come at x time’ to push them. My parents give us arrival times constantly and it never occurred to me to question their right to do so - people have things to do. It was not intended to be awkward but now is. [/quote]

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