Reply to Help me with techniques for addressing my MIL’s behavior

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Help me with techniques for addressing my MIL’s behavior "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you. I will add she always is guilting us about not seeing the grandkids more (she can’t afford to visit often because of poor financial decisions and failing to save for her retirement) and asking when we will move back to her area (despite us owning our home here). So I just feel very picked at whenever she arrives and whenever I try to
Broach different topics - current events, what’s going on with the kids, things to do in the neighborhood, etc - she retreats to all of the aforementioned topics. So I guess part of my frustration is we have the same visit, conversationally, that we have every time she comes. She has zero interest in doing new activities with the kids, exploring our area, or even getting out of the house for a walk. [/quote]

Ugh, she’s socially quite awkward and clueless and rude. Is there any aspergers in the family? Is she divorced or widowed?[/quote]

Op here. Wow, so much character assassination. I’m sure some of you didn’t see my additional post where I explained her [b]insane[/b] food issues and how she [b]obsessively[/b] monitors everyone’s intake and what we eat and [b]basically shames[/b] us for our diet. There’s literally no reprieve from her as she won’t even sit and enjoy a glass of wine with us - she would rather lecture us about the ills of dairy or alcohol. Or brag about how long she nursed my husband for. And the thing about my kids looking like her dead relatives is [b]passive aggressive[/b] - it’s her way of basically ignoring my and my family’s mark on her kids. She’s from an [b]ethnic background[/b] and they don’t resemble her and she’s upset about it so it’s her way of demeaning me. She’s actually divorced multiple times, has few friends, and had a very spotty job history because she kept getting fired from jobs for pissing people off and not befriending her supervisors but instead getting into it with them on a regular basis. She will argue with my husband at least once every visit and they won’t speak to each other and likely will yell at each other. She’s a lot of anyone to deal with, it’s not just normal old lady stuff. [/quote]

OP, nobody should be attacking you.  I was one of the first to respond saying my MIL is similar- but I said that it was not mean-spirited or manipulative.  Your original post was very long and very detailed and you left out [u]all [/u]of what you now describe- in pretty exaggerated terms.  And the difference is that now, rather than describe her behaviors factually, you ascribe all sorts of terrible intent that you cannot know.  Basically, you are "assassinating" your MIL's character.

I get that you need to defend yourself, but I think that rather than being open to what the vast majority of posters (and your DH) said, you are further entrenching yourself in your perceived victimhood.

(And also, your reference to "ethnic background" and your kids looking nothing like her is...suspect.)[/quote]

+1 to all of this[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics