Reply to Help settle an argument: with 2 under 5, doing errands is a break

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you said your mom has seen how he acts. Can you confide in her? It will be really scary and hard at first but I really think you need to her out for your sake and for your kids. [/quote]

I wish I could but I cannot. She’s the kind of person who would not be a neutral sounding board, would turn on my husband and never be willing to look past this if we’re able to work through it, and would gossip relentlessly about this with her partner and friends. It would also reinforce a narrative in her mind that I’m her screwed up child. She’s never really seen past the me in high school/college who struggled with depression and bulimia and my weight when she and my father were divorcing because she cheated on him and left him for her new partner. My siblings were “easier” during this time and got favored status, eg my younger sister got a laptop and new clothes to to college and my parents paid for her spring break trips but because I was in therapy (expensive) and taking medications (expensive) that cost my mom a lot out of pocket at the time I got none of the same treatment. Literally my college roommates and my sister used to give me their old clothes before they donated them to Goodwill that’s how bad it was. (And yes I worked at the time but I was spending most of my money on rent and food.) I have always been her “hard” kid and I’m not going to give her a new chance to reinforce a narrative as she will see it as me screwing up again, expecting her to solve my problem, or thinking I want her to give me money.... [/quote]

Not PP but I'm so sorry, OP. I truly hope you are in therapy to deal with all of this. Do you have any friends you can turn to?[/quote]

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