Reply to Dealing with jealous sister who's still TTC

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Dealing with jealous sister who's still TTC"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The problem is what to do. I recognize a sickness in her but it is hard to receive sympathy or advice from those who can relate to her inadequacies and bitterness and jealousies or those who simply will automatically resent the benefits or privileges I received in life. There's another post in the Expectant Moms forum about a 9 mos pregnant woman riding the metro who was appalled that nobody got up to offer their seat to her. She asked if this is typical of DC. There is cynicism, rudeness, bitterness here among DC area folk that is very apparent to people who lived in other regions before. I think its why DCUM suffers sometimes and why I've been tormented in this thread.

[/quote]

OP - As a life-long DC resident, I am absolutely heartbroken when I read stuff like your last sentence.  There are rude cynical people everywhere - DC does not have a corner on that.  But the fact that you are unable to see that people have been rude and bitter on this thread because you keep, for example, labeling people with the "rinky dink university" insult is really shocking to me.  I have been on DCUM for a while and have started many threads and I have never ever a single time had a thread that devolved into rude name calling.  Oh sure, every once in a while someone bored at work comes on to sling an insult, but you ignore them, and you focus on the people who are genuinely interested in trying to help, of which there are many - which is why I keep coming back to DCUM.  If you truly and honestly read over this thread, you have exchanged as many rude bitter insults yourself, and the lack of self-awareness with which you have handled this thread is really just unbelievable odd.

I have a cousin who is very much like your sister and I truly truly believe that your sister has some serious issues - I'm not taking that away from you.  But, like many others on this thread, I wonder why you continue to engage her by, for example, telling your mother not to tell your sister that you're pregant when you very clearly are.  Many of us have been gently trying to tell you what that will look like to a sister who already has strong feelings of jealousy and a pattern of anti-social behavior - it will look to her like you and your mother are "continuing" to colude and cut her out of your lives.  EVEN if you don't mean it that way.  The way that I have handled my cousin, who is like I said very similar to your sister, is to act 100% normal and not to spend any time at all thinking about it.  When I was pregnant (and she was desperate for a baby but not even married), I told people in my family just the way I would have if she didn't have jealousy issues.  Not in a "everyone stop and look at me!!!" type of way, but I mentioned it, I emailed, I was happy and excited but not rubbing it in everyone's face.  Frankly, I don't know how she dealt with it because I didn't involve myself in her drama.  I suggest (and many others have suggested) that this might be a better way of dealing with your problem.  Your sister is going to be jealous and you will likely always have a tough relationship with her - minimize contact with her, go about your life as you need to, and think about how your actions and the things you say might look to her.  I truly wish you all the best because I know this can be tough.  But please please please go back and read this thread and understand how you contributed to the nastiness and that it is not at all indicative of the DC I have known and love.[/quote]

Honestly, I don't know if you and I have read the same post, PP. I didn't start calling people graduates of rinky dink university out of the blue and with absolutely no provocation. I was insulted in numerous ways long before that. The tension and insults began much earlier by the snarky women, of which there are plenty on DCUM and some recent posts in the Expectant Mother's and Off-Topic forums are showing that. My comment was to retaliate and I even said I was going to give people some of their medicine and see how they like it for a change.

I really hate it when people say we ought to develop thicker skin to deal with jealous, bitter women who try to torment us. Why is it that in the DC area that is the most common advice? I think it is because snarky women are plentiful around here and they like to start trouble to watch a train wreck and see the OP's reaction. You shouldn't feel hurt reading this because I'm obviously not speaking about every person in the DC area. There are exceptions but this is very common on DCUM and it's a reflection of our community here.

And you assume that I should be concerned about how my sister's reaction or feelings will be when she knows I've hidden my pg or told my mother not to tell her. Why should I care about her feelings over trying to protect my own? Moreover, a mom and sister have a special relationship. I have that with my mom now. We tell secrets to one another. My mother is not compelled by any moral or ethical code to divulge my secrets or privacy in the interest of preserving her relationship with her other daughter just as she is not compelled to divulge any secrets my sister confesses to my mother to me. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics