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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're talking post partum period, right?  So your comments on the general nature of Asian parental relationship don't appy squarely here.  Plus, if they are as traditional as you suggest, why would they have moved away from their son.  The also happens rarely.[/quote] They sure do apply. Regard for Asian parental relationships doesn't temporarily halt during post partum periods; it's an eternal mind set, a thinking, that believes that regard for DH's parents must be greater than regard for DW's parents. This may change with more and more younger generations assimilating to American culture but, for now, there are many of Asian cultural background that know and follow these cultural ways. And the reason it might be helpful to know what the cultural background is of the DH in question here is because if, in fact, DH is really Asian and following Asian cultural thinking, it might explain why he so stubbornly is refusing to budge on this, why he is okay with seeing his pregnant wife cry and cry over this. He's not just being a jerk though it may seem that way for many of us; his thinking is something he grew up with and it's firmly entrenched in him. It might also prove to be a much harder problem for DW. Asian DH's don't change their viewpoint on parental regard easily. It takes a courageous DH to venture away from cultural expectations to see things from a DW's perspective. Oftentimes they run the risk of permanently damaging their relationship with their parents if they side with their DW's.

OP, if your DH is Asian, one thing you might want to consider is to seek counseling with a priest or clergyman of your cultural background who is more open minded. If this doesn't work, you may have to play hardball and[b] have your parents pick you up at the hospital, go to their home and have them take care of you for a couple of weeks. If he throws a fit, so be it. Sometimes you have to teach people the hard way how you wish to be treated[/b]. [/quote]

That is what I would do - and I would tell my husband I was going to do that. And tell him, if he is not happy he can move in with is mommy. What an asshole! Yes, I am projecting my own marital issues - my husband and MIL tried something similar, but I was not as nice as you op and just told him that was unacceptable and I would rather go to the hospital alone than have that woman there. She got all pissed, saying she was not a guest, but family (huge  :roll: here), etc. Not MY family certainly. I just "moved" my due date further, so she didn't get all excited. After the baby was born and the first week had passed, we invited her to come... and she did 7 weeks later. Her visit lasted 2 days and was just what I could take. Imagine that she complained that the baby "slept too much" and kept asking my husband to wake her up (another eye roll here).... Anyway, the first week was so hard re sleeping, taking care of healing, the first poop, and trying to establish breastfeeding (a nightmare!).

STAND YOUR GROUND OP! If you give in now, raising your child will be a nightmare with your husband deferring to them about every little thing (and second guessing you). You should forward this thread to your husband.[/quote]

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