Reply to GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

If you think "she's allowed to have male friends, but not male friends that are attracted to her" is a reasonable rule or one that you have the right to enunciate or enforce for your "gregarious, fun, vibrant" girlfriend, you are an idiot.  Men will be attracted to her for the same reasons you are.  The question is whether you trust her, and despite her almost pathological honesty with you, it's clear you do not.[/quote]

[/quote]
OP

Actually there you have it wrong.  What I am trying to figure out is not whether this"rule" which isn't a rule is reasonable.

What I am trying to figure out is:

A.  Was the guy actually asking her out on a date or asking her to go talk as friends?  That is a big difference.  Bringing a friend was a smart move--agreed-but it also shows that she herself was concerned and knew on some level he wasn't really asking her to go talk about dating.

B.  Assuming this was a date, should I be concerned that she went out with a guy who she knew was asking her on a date?

C.  This isn't about controlling her behavior.  At the end of the day it is about what I want in a relationship.  Do I want to go out with a woman who I am in an exclusive relationship with, planning a future with, who goes on a sort-of-date with a guy who it seems she knows doesn't want to be friends but wants a lot more?

So for all your attacks on me, please answer this:  If you were in a committed, long-term relationship, would you be OK with your partner gong out with a woman/man, when your partner knows full well the woman/man doesn't want to be friends but wants a lot more?  SO much so that he/zhe had to take a host of steps to prevent the date from getting the wrong (actual) message of agreeing to go in the first place?

[/quote]

You don't seem to get it. You want a bunch of strangers who NEVER met this guy, or you, or your GF to tell you if he was hitting on your GF and likes her. 
Hell, she may not even know and she met the guy. 
Are you going to run here everytime you see a guy check her out or she talks to someone you don't know? 
My gosh man. You sound paranoid and controlling. 
If you truly trusted her (and nothing you have said here has shown you should not), then let this go. 
Better yet, let HER go. 
She deserves better than trying to twist every interaction into a pretzel just to make you happy. 
If you keep making this a huge deal she will start hiding things from you because it just isn't worth the fight and accusations. 
Even things like seeing a guy and talking to him at a kids ball game. She will keep that to herself adn then you have much much bigger problems. 
Not that she is cheating but that you are slowly killing the fun, honest, vibrant woman she is. 
That is no fair to her, so either let this go or move on. [/quote]

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