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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here are things that you don't do in a marriage unless BOTH partners are in agreement:

- Remove yourself from the workforce
- Have a kid

If you're husband wants you to work, you work. It is the default position of being an adult. Adults don't get to unilaterally decide that someone else will be responsible for your financial support.

Likewise, if you don't want to have a 2nd kid, you don't. Adults don't get to unilaterally decide to make someone else a parent.

The above said, you say that you may never was to return to the workforce. Perhaps that is what is so off-putting to your husband. What reason would you have to never go back to work? Maybe you two could compromise with an agreement that you'll quit or go part-time for x number of years, then go back.

Saying that you just want to stop working forever is just not a good look, no matter how much you don't need the money. Think about it -- if you're a lawyer, then your husband fell for someone who was apparently intelligent and driven. That is the type of woman he is attracted to. Surely you can see that announcing that you want to become a lady who lunches might cause him concern? He may fear that you would become someone he doesn't like/respect/is attracted to.     [/quote]

^^ I don’t think this board is a good place to come if you want to SAH.  Many people on here have opinions like the one above.  They really don’t grasp how many women stay home or want to stay home but simply can’t because they have bills to pay.  I think the references to large inheritances derailed the conversation. [/quote]

PP didn't express an anti- SAHM sentiment. It's anti-unilateral decision making. Having a SAH parent is wonderful for many families. But just like whether or not to have a kid, it's a decision that both partners should be on board with. Otherwise, it's guaranteed to result in resentment.

[b]However, the resulting of SAH parenting is that it's a limited engagement. Eventually you either go back to work or continue on unemployed. Which is fine if, again, both partners are on board with that. But you can't be a SAH parent forever. So if someone says they don't want to ever return to work, that means they want to parent, then do nothing after the kids grow up, while the spouse continues to work. And I don't think it's unreasonable that their spouse would object to that[/b].[/quote]

Lmao.  You’re not biased at all!   [/quote]

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