Reply to Why can't men [my DH] multitask????

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has ADHD and he could not empty a dishwasher and watch a toddler at the same time. He is however highly functional at work. People are wired differently.[/quote]

Interesting that your DH is "wired" to be able to multitask and do his job properly, but somehow magically not "wired" to watch a child while doing some very light cleaning. It's funny how many men are just magically not "wired" for these things, and yet very functional in their work life. Do they all have this very specific version of ADHD?  :roll: [/quote]

Do you have ADHD? Are you a psychologist? I'm a DP with ADHD and I cannot speak for PP's husband (who may be conning them or genuinely being lazy, for all I know), but that's actually a big part of how ADHD works. It's not a "specific form" of ADHD-- it's all forms. We can hyperfocus on things that interest us and struggle and fail miserably at those things that don't. A very extreme version of how everyone does better jobs at the things they enjoy-- we can be truly fantastic at those key things, but awful at a lot of other things that superficially seem to have the same requirements.

Now-- as a parent, you have to suck it up and find coping mechanisms that allow you to do a decent job of it, regardless of interest. But it is genuinely harder for those of us with ADHD. The moms with ADHD usually step up and find ways to make it at least halfway work, whereas the dads with ADHD are often let off the hook-- or let themselves off the hook. So I do get the skepticism, and I'm sure patriarchy and whatnot plays a role. But [b]it's literally true that if you have ADHD, what seem to be your fabulous focusing and multitasking skills can fall off a cliff when you're presented with something that your brain is not interested in. It actually sucks. [/b] [/quote]
DP.. I too can hyperfocus on things I like to do, and ignore things that I don't want to do. I guess I could call it ADHD, but that wouldn't be true.  Same thing for my kids. This is a human condition, not a disorder.

ADHD is an excuse for everything these days.[/quote]

PP will also say you're  not allowed to ask your ADHD husband to do the d*mn dishes because he has "Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria."[/quote]

Wow, a psychologist and a psychic with poor reading comprehension! What are the odds?

I explicitly said none of it was an excuse, and explicitly said that everyone has more energy for the things they enjoy-- just that with ADHD, it's extreme and can be crippling. And that as a parent with ADHD, you have to find a way to overcome this. I'm just saying it's hardER.

Of course, I also said that the ADHD DH is probably also conditioned not to care and may be a total jerk! But you know that. Or do you? Your and PP's own attention to detail seems to be sadly lacking.

Then again, everyone gets sad! Depression is an excuse for everything these days! Everyone feels tired sometimes. Autoimmune diseases are an excuse for everything these days! Everyone gets acne and everyone's teeth are crooked, so no one should take Accutane or get braces.[/quote]

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