Reply to Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Middle child. [b]Oldest child has ASD and brings no joy to our lives. I love the youngest[/b] but she has a difficult temperament. [/quote]

Do you also love your oldest?[/quote]

No. Used to, but now only feel duty. There is no reciprocity and my child is violent. [/quote]

This is horrible. I bet your child can feel that. It's your job as a parent to love your children unconditionally.[/quote]

Until you have had a child like this keep your judgement to yourself. It is a horrible enough thing without your judgement piling on.

Signed, a mom who has spent time in the pediatric psychiatric emergency hold, on legal obligation due to my ASD child’s inability to function. At 7.   I don’t have a favorite in my family but I am lucky that my ASD child is getting it together right now so I can bring the warm feelings. The pps post is a terrible situation for him/her and aggression is well established to damage parental bonds. I’m sending my thoughts to this parent.  [/quote]

+1. Signed, another mom with a violent, volatile, challenging beyond words SN child.[/quote]

+2. What I am noticing in all these responses is that the preferred child is the one that likes/loves that parent the most in return, which is totally natural. And when you have a volatile, violent kid who shows little emotional reciprocity with you, it wears you down and can be very difficult to love that child back after years of fighting. Imagine getting beat up weekly and someone saying, "How dare you not love this person!" Parents are only human, after all.  [/quote]

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