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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You married a man who can but will not pay for college for his wife's dd? What kind of desperate person are you?[/quote]

Nowhere does OP say that she asked her new DH to pay and he said no.  And OP also isn’t asking about problem solving the financial piece, she’s asking for advice on how to stop DD from ruining relationships with her step family.

Remember the post where a second wife was angry about “gross behavior” from the grandma who favored her bio grandkids?   Most people piled on OP saying that grandma had every right to want to spend time alone with her bio grandkids and OP needed to adjust her expectations.  Well, paying for college is a LOT more than paying for ice cream and the posters who are crowing about OPs DD needing to be treated equally as her step sibs by her step dad are misguided.

I think all parents (step and bio) should meet to discuss DDs college situation and see what they are willing and able to do.  Step dad should understand that the marriage cost DD financial aid.  DD should understand that she may have to take on debt.  OP may even want to have DD live with her bio dad for a while until this is resolved - just so DD doesn’t sabotage her relationships with her step family.

But first, what are DD’s stats?  Is it even likely that she may be accepted to some of the top schools in the country?  If not, this all becomes a non-issue.  I know some kids who received VERY generous merit aid from top SLACs.  Between merit aid and all parents pitching in, it might work.  DD isn’t entitled to having step dad pay for college, but if I was OP, I would at least ask if he would be open to helping.

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