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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your DP needs help and encouragement. Try to frame the running of the household as tasks to do as minimally as possible or to outsource temporarily. When you both worked who shopped, cleaned, cooked, did laundry? Did you or DP give birth? How old is the youngest? I think there is definitely depression (and possible ADD, but attention and motivation are impacted by depression) at play. She is not a good homemaker, she lost and can't find a job, she is overwhelmed and doesn't feel good and you are (perhaps rightly) critical and disconnected from her as a woman. Trying to avoid your disapproval sort of motivates her (and sometimes people are "social workers") but she is clearly struggling. You need to make sure the house runs somehow right now, she can't. You know that so stop the frustrated Groundhog Day routine. Then you need to reconnect so that you will have that bond to draw on in helping her to get help and to plan the next phase of your life, one that plays to everyone's strengths. Btw if bedtime works for everyone I'd let them have that time. If she is depressed it might be the time they get the best "connection" with her. This is not a good situation OP, you need to do some reading and reflection and take some actions. Best to you. PP who is the getting divorced lesbian mom. [/quote]

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