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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’ve got two goals that are working at cross-purposes here.  One is that you want to keep your kid motivated by giving her a cohort that is as smart as she is but more ambitious. The other is that you want significant merit aid. But why would a school that is filled with higher-performing kids give your kid substantial merit aid?

Something’s gotta give. You might be able to find a school where she gets merit aid, but not the cohort. I have a friend whose kids both went this route. One has been motivated by profs (hence my earlier suggestion that look at faculty in math and poli sci (as well as relevant adjacent fields) and find schools where her interests are a good match. The other was initially motivated by the desire to get the eff out of there and be among equally smart people in grad school.

Both are in programs that, in addition to giving significant merit aid, create a cohort among these standouts. (Cf honors colleges at state schools).  That ultimately kicked in for kid #2 during second semester of sophomore year when kid was placed in an honors dorm and suddenly had what felt like a real peer group. Both kids have perfect college GPAs so far, on top of significant/interesting/very different ECs. (Neither did as well grade-wise in HS). All this said, neither program gave these kids a full ride. I think each awarded about $25K a year.

The alternative approach is a state school honors program.  No merit aid required. And she gets the cohort you want for her and probably the faculty/coursework she needs/wants to pursue her interests.

Neither approach guarantees that she’ll be more motivated in college than she was in HS. Conversely, she might be more (or less or differently) motivated anyway. College is different from HS — no parental oversight, more choose-your-own-adventure, more diverse cohort, better-educated teachers, different fields of study, different location (which may be more or less enticing/distracting than home was).

[b]Honestly, your worst-case scenario just isn’t scary. Nice, smart kid does what’s necessary and does it pretty well — then spends her free time doing other things she prefers. IRL, that counts for something — she’s employable, will have friends, hobbies, and probably be happier than she would be if she realized her “full potential” in whatever particular way you imagine. Personally, given the state of our economy and where things seem to be headed, I think the “pour all your energy and talent into work (or ‘success’)” model is going to create even more misery for our kids’ generation than it has for ours.[/b] [/quote]

This. My DS is a similar kid -- excellent GPA and test scores, little interest in ECs other than one service activity and some personal hobbies and hanging out with friends. He's going to VT in a STEM field and I'm sure he'll do fine and have a happy life.[/quote]

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