Reply to 1 kid vs. 2 kids - how did you decide?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "1 kid vs. 2 kids - how did you decide?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My only has been in the bathtub for an hour. I cleaned the kitchen and am sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and DCUM. That’s pretty much the speed of parenting a school aged only. Plenty of time to give your kid as much attention as they want, plenty of time for self care. She has BFFs and cousins. I love being able to be the best version of myself all the time.[/quote]

I’ll give another vision of the evening, just for contrast…

My two kids decided to put on a before dinner performance, made “instruments,” rehearsed, and announced the songs they would play. They had stage names and composed the song with different parts for both of themselves — super cute (7 and 4). After the performance one helped in the kitchen and the other set the table. At dinner we took turns telling the highlights and lowlights of the day. They made each other laugh with some nonsense jokes only comprehensible to each other. Afterwards they sat together on the sofa while the older one read to the younger. Played ball outside and took a bath together in the bathtub. Family cuddle before lights out.

If you’re someone who enjoys peace and quiet, downtime, leisurely pace — go with one. If you like more dynamic activity, lively banter, “team” dynamic between your kids, you might prefer two. There are beautiful moments to each and each affords different kinds of intimacy. I will say, I think of stopping at 2 mainly because I like having some one on one time with each kid and with 3+ it goes much more towards the dynamism and liveliness and away from the quiet and calm.[/quote]

Ok now each of you tell us what a bad night looks like. [/quote]

PP with two here. So a “bad” evening — before dinner both of them want to play on the piano at the same time, one shoves the other and the one who was shoved screams and runs to their room. We end up calling both of them to sit down together. Both take turns saying what happened from their perspective — then we ask if they have anything they want to respond to each other. They apologize in a heartfelt way and hug each other. We brainstorm what each could have done differently. We are all hangry by this point and hurry to get dinner on the table. That’s sibling conflict for you, maybe more than some want to deal with but there are a lot of opportunities here for exploring your own feelings and working things out with another person. A lot more give and take, sharing attention, sharing resources, etc. Either you take that as a chance to practice skills or it seems stressful, I guess.

Another example of things that happen with two that won’t with one — one has a lesson at dinner time, parents split up and one has dinner at home while the other takes them to the lesson. Later on they take showers at different times so we trade off bath duty, bedtime reading, and clean up for dinner. One wants to read about sharks and the other doesn’t want to. One wants to wrestle but the other isn’t in the mood. This isn’t “bad” per se but there’s more to juggle, more going on, more dynamics to negotiate with two. More times than not they get along amazingly well and play together in a way that has been very heartwarming — especially the past year. I love seeing them grow up together and knowing that they are making that bond and having memories together.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics