Reply to I’m happy being a SAHM, except when others talk about it like I’m some kind of sucker

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "I’m happy being a SAHM, except when others talk about it like I’m some kind of sucker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And in this case that person was Barak Obama.

I just heard an interview with him on an NPR podcast, and he said something about how Michelle’s mom had stretches where she was “just” a SAHM, and too often it’s women who make that sacrifice when they really should be working.

I really like Obama, and I’m a feminist, but seriously?

Especially after Covid I’m just not convinced that I’m the one making a “sacrifice”. Maybe my DH is the one sacrificing family time in order to work? And he likes his job but it’s hardly a “calling”, and it sure as heck isn’t a hobby. As far as I can tell I chose to SAH, I wasn’t suckered into it. There are good things and bad things about SAH, and there are good things and bad things about working.  I wish our policies encouraged women AND men to SAH for stretches (a year or two) with young kids, and facilitated that choice with family leave policies or tax breaks (while also facilitating affordable day care for parents who want to work).

Anyway. I’m happy with my choice 90% of the time but it’s sucks to hear someone I admire denigrate my choices.[/quote]

Sorry you're in your feelings but you're all over the place here.  He said it's often women who are the ones to sacrifice their careers/incomes to raise kids, and you disagree that it's a sacrifice because you don't want to work and chose to SAH, but also you wish policies encouraged both men and women to SAH?  Why do men need to be encouraged if it's not a sacrifice?

Some people want to stay home.  Some have to because of childcare expenses and inflexible work schedules.  When it's not a first choice, it's a sacrifice.  Most of the time, women are the ones who make that sacrifice.  If SAH is what you always wanted to do and you're happy and don't feel like you're sacrificing, you're not the topic of conversation.  "If it don't apply, let it fly."  It's like hearing someone talk about how they gave up meat for Lent and getting pissed off that they say it's been hard because you were raised vegetarian and have no desire to eat meat.  Everything is not about you.[/quote]

[b]For most women, it's not a sacrifice, it's a choice.  They want to be home.  [/b]For most men, it would be a sacrifice, because they would rather be at work.  So yes, men need to be encouraged because it is a sacrifice for them, and women conversely need societal encouragement to go to work because many would rather be at home.[/quote]

Citation needed.  [/quote]

+1
 
You won't find this to be true among pretty much all the women I know. Nice try, though. [/quote]

Really?  You know lots of SAHMs who would rather be at work?  I'm guessing since you work you only associate with women who work, and therefore won't admit that they'd rather be home, because they need to work for money.[/quote]

First of all, the PP said that most women want to be home. I think that statement is false. You tried to twist is to say that most SAHMs would rather work, which isn't the same thing. Read again slowly if you need to.

Second of all, how would I manage to only associate with women who work? I have many SAHM friends, some I knew from high school, some from college, some from the neighborhood, some from my or my husband's work (spouses who stay home), and some are the parents of my kids' friends. And yes, many of them were home for reasons other than that they purely wanted to. One's husband is an ER doctor and his inconsistent schedule made it difficult for her to work so she stayed home. One's husband traveled all the time for work, mostly internationally, and that made it really hard for her to work. One had serious medical complications after her pregnancy and was unable to go back to work. One's husband was in the military and their constant reassignments plus his hours made it difficult for her to work. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics