Reply to Advice Needed: parents who both work long hours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m so irritated that everyone keeps blaming op for her job. She has reasonable hours and good salary for Law. She doesn’t need to mommy track anymore than she already has.

The problem is that her husband is working crazy hours. He needs to take more of a break in the evenings and help out more. OP is not the problem. And they need tips for how to outsource more. That’s really what Op was asking. She does not need to mommy track more.[/quote]
OP has received plenty of tips about how to outsource more. She needs to decide whether she wants to outsource more. I think she has plenty of non-working hours. They are similar to the non-working hours I have. But I refuse to spend them cooking and cleaning, so we do what it takes to avoid that. This is a combination of, outsourcing a lot more than OP does, tolerating more mess than I'd prefer, ordering take-out sometimes, and simply relinquishing some stuff to DH, however he does it. They are his kids too. If he wants his kids to have the quality of nutrition and health that a 13 hour/day with no breaks schedules allows, so be it. As it turns out, my DH did not want that for his kids, so he started to prioritize certain things when I stopped just taking care of it. Not every DH will do that, though, and so each of us needs to decide where our realistic comfort levels are. DH's comfort levels for certain things are much lower than mine, so I do more for our kids than he does. It's not right or fair...it's what is.

OP can't make her DH work less by fiat. She can ask, she can plead, she can do less, or she can leave. Those are the options she controls.[/quote]

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