Reply to "You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House"

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Reply to ""You Make Me Feel Like I Can't Live in my Own House""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every couple has this stuff.  It's how you handle it.

My spouse leaves all the lights on.  I do go around and turn lights off.  Not obsessively.  But I do it.  And he and I will joke about it at times.  I don't make a big deal out of it.

If I'm doing something that really bothers him or vice versa, he will ask me with all sincerity to stop and I will try to fix it.  This usually works.  You know why?  There isn't a 17 point list and we have maintained good humor and love between the two of us and neither of us are neurotic freaks.  So if he really asks or if I really ask, we do our best to fix it.

You have to have a bank of good will OP and pick your battles, as others have said.[/quote]

Okay, so what if your spouse didn’t listen to you and didn’t do his best to fix those things that bothered you? Would you happily take up the slack and clean up after him, or just live with it, or would you continue to ask him to be a good roommate? [/quote]

I get how frustrated you are but imagine how frustrated your spouse is to have to listen to your nagging all the time. Did you consider that she is just as irritated at you as you are with her, but you’re the one who is trying to change her, not the other way around. What do you care if she leaves the water running while doing the dishes, it’s not hurting you. So what if the door is left open for a little while. Leave her alone and find something else to occupy your time and energy.

NP.  Ask yourself what good things your spouse is working on or doing that benefits you. Make a list. Would you have to pay someone else to do any of that if you were single?  Is the extra charge on your electric bill more or less?

Is not turning out all the lights promptly a good enough reason for a divorce to you?  Maybe use that as your first screening question when you’re dating again since it seems to have risen to such prime importance in your relationship now.

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