Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

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Reply to "Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. Some dads are just assholes. It is easy to leave a young baby. Especially one they didn’t parent when married. Sometimes they saunter back around when the kid is older or there is another woman in the picture.

Not all dads. Some.[/quote]

I had a divorce lawyer tell me this during a consultation, she predicted that men don't leave unless they already have another lined up, and to prepare myself for the inevitable and that it would go, either way, he would become more involved in order to impress her with his good guyness, or he would cut off contact to keep her "happy."

Some men, not all but a good deal of them are utilitarian, others are there to meet their needs, and they want things to be easy and simple. As long as you meet their needs. let them maintain power and keep it light, they will stick around.  If they have to leave they will, but they still need to get their needs met. The kind of person who checks out on a child is the kind of person who views people as utilitarian, and since children give back much less than they receive, what's the point really.

So fret not there is no way to explain to a child that they are nothing more than a toaster to their checked-out parent.  It is what it is.

No judgment but if you are with someone who hasn't maintained contact with their children, no matter the roadblocks put in their way, you can try to delude yourself into thinking you are with a good person, but you aren't.  You might just be the broken lid to their broken pot.  Everybody is dealing with something, some are just more broken than others. Men who do this to their children are just more broken than most and the women who "love" them are likewise more broken than most.

[/quote]

Often dads are not allowed time with their kids.  They get the absolute minimum and all kind of excuses are made to keep them from their kids.  The system is set up to support moms.  If a dad does not get his visit too bad.  Courts do very little.  Women find all kinds of reasons to justify their behavior and then complain dad is not involved.  If you want dad involved you need to treat him as an equal parent and not an atm. [/quote

50:50 has been the standard for quite some time.  Stop portraying dads as hapless children to whom things are done. Stop pretending it's the mother's job to facilitate, enable, support and nurture the relationship between the father and his children.  If you've sired children on this earth, it is on YOU to preserve and maintain this relationship.  You and no one else. [/quote]

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