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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a terrible shock after discovery of a 5-year hidden affair. Couldn't function at all and was an emotional mess for the first 6 months. I still can't talk to him, and we live separated in the same house only emailing or texting on what relates to our son. 
But I was able to dig myself out by 1) excluding all recreational alcohol - I noticed that red wine makes me terribly sad, if I am already sad and I couldn't sleep after drinking when I was so depressed 2) looking for a job and attending online classes. It's very difficult to concentrate, but the more effort I made, the better it was getting. I've had many unsuccessful interviews, especially in the beginning, but even those made me feel more in-demand, professional, talking with smart people. It was helping me to re-focus on something new.

Almost a year as I found out, and we are not divorced. I just calmly hate my exH, I consider him an abusive mental [b]and physical rapist (because the affairs are a form of rape)[/b]. But I can fully function and work on my future. [/quote]
What does this mean?[/quote]

DP.  I found out my husband would have sex on Fridays unprotected.  We always had sex Saturday mornings and multiple other days.  I felt so violated when I knew he was just inside some other woman unprotected without my knowledge and then me.  It was horrifying.  The lies and gaslighting once you piece together that things they told you were complete lies and how they would place the lie a few weeks out and build on it....there are no words for how disorienting that is.  This is why it is a severe trauma.[/quote]

Oh and I know some Fridays he was most likely inside both of us.[/quote]

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