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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I was 23 when he fed me the crap, he was my second sexual partner and I was still studying at the university, not particular experienced with dating. His first wife remarried 1 year after their divorce, even faster than he married me. I don’t think he lied back then that they were separated and lived separate lives.  After that, we had 15 years of committed and pretty happy relationship (10 first years of marriage included), and 5 more him hiding the affair. The affair partner is married herself, she’s 50 yo with 2 grown up kids, perfectly aware about him having a young child when she started sleeping with him [b]for monetary gains[/b]. I don’t think it’s appropriate to compare the 2 situations. 
[b]He wasn’t wealthy when I met him.[/b] [/quote]

You are way too hung up on the money, ma'am. Yes, he absolutely sucks for having affairs. Yes, he sounds like a nightmare partner. But blaming the AP is classic "Stage One" of the infidelity bombshell and it's not a good look.

Moreover, how did you not have anyone in your life to tell you that marrying your decade-older affair partner, who you met when you were...interning, maybe, was a bad idea? [/quote]

10 years is not a particular big age difference and we dated for a while before getting married. He seemed and behaved pretty normal 15 years we were together. [/quote]

10 years is a huge difference when one of the partners is 23 and the other is married. That's a massive difference not just in age, but experience.

I know you just got dealt a big blow, and I'm sorry, but I'm wondering how the first wife feels now. Your assertions that these two things are not the same ring pretty hollow. You were the affair partner. Now you are the wife being left for yet another affair partner. This is basically the circle of life. [/quote]

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