Reply to Outplacement directors that speak in code or total silence; can anyone translate ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]... there's a difference between an agenda which may differ from the parents', and an agenda which is somehow secretive and inherently unfair, or that is favoring other children over yours. [/quote]

I agree wholeheartedly with these two comments.  I especially agree with the last point about how "differing agendas" doesn't mean unfair or favoring other children over yours.  It's precisely the attitude of "someone's getting more favorable treatment than I am!" that I find objectionable in many of the extreme claims from page 1 of this thread. [/quote]

I think "differing agendas" could actually mean "unfair," although I'm still thinking this over.  Think about the examples earlier in the thread from somebody (not me) about the 4 corporate lawyers' daughters who have similar GPAs and sports.  The school will promote 1 or 2 of these girls, and they will probably select which to promote based on the parents' expected contribution to the next school.

Is this fair, or not, if the girls themselves are identical?  Maybe it is fair, if the ability to volunteer/donate/not be PITA is an attribute that the family as a whole brings to the next school.  But then again, the ability to donate/volunteer is often linked to income and having a SAHM.  Also, from the point of view of these identical girls, it's not fair.

(And please point us to where somebody posted, "somebody's getting more favorable treatment than I am!"  This sort of distortion isn't helpful to the discussion.)[/quote]

I apologize if my comment suggested someone on this thread had literally written "someone's getting more favorable treatment than I am!" -- that's not what I meant at all.  That was my description of an attitude, or maybe "fear" is a better word.

If you want examples of this attitude, your comment provides a good one about the PP who assumed that if four lawyers' daughters were applying, the OD would pick only two to promote.  And here are a couple other examples from page 1 of PPs expressing fear that one child is getting promoted over another by ODs:

[quote]... if Beauvoir has 4 such candidates and one set of parents is a PITA and another set of parents are major donors with other kids potentially in the pipeline, I could certainly see them being more interested in family B getting the exmission result of their dreams than family A. And it can be rationalized as a sort of victimless crime (or even a blessing in disguise) if the decisionmaker is pretty confident that the daughter in family A will do just as well (or better) in a school that isn't her parents' first choice.[/quote]

[quote]Your current school has several opportunities to talk to the schools your kid is applying to. ... they talk enthusiastically about ... what some families are going to contribute (in money and/or volunteering) to the next school "family." And maybe their faces don't light up quite as much, or at least they give less airtime, for some other kids.[/quote] [/quote]

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