Reply to As a parent, I feel strongly about...

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "As a parent, I feel strongly about..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I definitely feel strongly about giving my children the best possible start in life.  DH and I give up a great deal for that[/quote]

Fascinating that when asked to prioritize parenting values someone actually spells this out. I actually believe the exact opposite. I think it’s immoral to put all your efforts into giving your child(ren) advantages above as many of their peers as possible. I think it’s the root of so much evil as it perpetuates a society where so many people suffer and are then BLAMED for their own suffering. It’s beyond gross to me that this is considered a value.

LOVING my children and ensuring they feel as though [b]they are the most loved creatures on the planet[/b] is of upmost importance to me but beyond that I simply want to make sure they feel secure that we will meet their most basic needs, establish broadly healthy foundations and create joy in their childhood. I think the mentality of hiring teachers from birth ( :roll: ) and providing every advantage money can buy is toxic. [/quote]

[b]I find this to be very odd, almost hypocritical. I want my kids to know that my husband and I love them no matter what, but they are NOT the most-loved creatures on the planet because they aren't that important in the grand scheme of things. Even in our world, they don't rule our lives. We spend time away from them, our needs also matter, etc. I find it odd that you think giving your children advantages is immoral, but teaching them that they're the most-loved creatures on the planet is not.[/b][/quote]

I was poorly trying to set up a dichotomy between the PP wanting to maximize their children’s privileges and my belief that the only thing I want to give my children in abundance is love. I didn’t mean that I want my children to believe they are the most [i]deserving[/i] of love, just that when we are launching them into the world they feel that it’s with the security of our deep, unconditional love instead of the advantages of the most educated nannies or living in the best neighborhood or attending the most elite schools etc. [/quote]

[b]There is no “instead of”, PP.  You can fill your child with a deep sense of security of your deep unconditional love while providing them with educated nannies, a safe neighborhood and top schools.  [/b]

[/quote]

Um, for me there [i]is[/i] an “instead of.” I’m the PP that posted that I think the goal of giving your child the best possible start with the most advantages you can provide is disgusting as a VALUE. I’m not saying I’ve never indulged my children in things they genuinely have an interest in or that we reject material goods—but I firmly believe my white kids born to solidly middle class parents have more than enough privileges and because of that we will never seek out opportunities to do things for them for the sole purpose of increasing the likelihood that they are more successful than their peers. When we sacrifice it is to give them more of our time and attention and a happy home (also privileges but ones that I find redemptive value in), but we don’t use our money to push them into toddler Mandarin lessons, summer cello intensives or $3,000 courses that promise top SAT scores so that they gain access to more “elite” schools or socioeconomic circles. We will continue to send them to public schools and I think there is value in having to pay for at least some of your college education. If it’s not free for everyone then my kids won’t get to experience it as “free” either. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics