Reply to How do you get over being ostracized from a group?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]***Unrelated but Man, 40?  That’s a mega circle.  Neighbors, sorority,  team moms?  How does such a circle form?[/quote]
This.
The only thing I can think of is a running club.[/quote]

I feel like this is not uncommon. In addition to running clubs, I can think of other examples: kickball, softball, PTA, a lot of workplaces are kind of like this. But even without an activity link, I feel like in my 20s/30s I had a loose crew of people that was around 40-50 people. I met them through my roommate and his brother. I only hung out with maybe 5 or 6 of them regularly, but anytime there was a house party, it would be the same group of 40-50 people, with maybe a few new people mixed in and a few people who kind of faded out. I met my spouse through the group. And yeah, we all went to each others weddings and stuff. We're in our 40s now and I guess it sort of still exists, but we haven't socialized like that in years. I think the last time I saw a bunch of them in the same place was a wedding when I was 38 or 39. We do still stay in touch via Facebook.

Still, I can't imagine anything like this happening in that group. There was gossip, sure, but if anyone didn't get along (and that happened plenty), they just avoided each other at parties and that was it. I do recall a couple breakups that led to people sort of exiting the group, but no one ever shunned these people and I would still hear about them years and people would talk about them in a positive light. I literally cannot even fathom this kind of organized ostracism. It just feels foreign to me.

For OPs sake, I sincerely hope this really is just an affinity group like a running club, and not a neighborhood group or a workplace. At least with an affinity group, you could extract yourself without having to see these people all the time. That sounds brutal.[/quote]

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