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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Until about a year ago, I was part of a big group of friends. Probably 40 or so people total, though obviously I was closer with some people and more acquaintances with others. We socialized together a lot -- I would say I went out with one or more people from the group at least twice a week. We almost always celebrated birthdays together, went to each others weddings, etc.

There were two people in the group I did not get along with, but because of the size of the group, it didn't seem like a huge deal. I just avoided them but otherwise had plenty of mutual friends with them. And we'd go to lots of the same big parties and just wouldn't hang out. Again, since I was close to some people but not others, some people knew about this issue and some didn't. I never got the impression (over several years) that it was a big deal to anyone really. Not everyone gets along, it's fine.

About a year ago, I learned in a very upsetting way (via an email chain that I got added to late, that included previous emails about me that I was not supposed to see), that several of the people I was close to in the group had been talking about me A LOT regarding these two people I didn't get along with. I learned that it was actually a hot topic of gossip among many people in the group, and also that a lot of people, who I had previously thought liked me fine and with whom I'd always gotten along, had been saying some very nasty things about me. It turns out that the two people I didn't get along with had been very vocally complaining about my presence in the group for over a year, and that many people, including several people I had thought were some of my closest friends (not just in the group but in the world) had come to agree that I didn't belong and had started to exclude me from a variety of things I didn't know about.

Is this a church group? Something sort of similar happened to me in a church group. You can't replace family with outside groups is something I learned the hard way. If you don't have a supportive family you just have to find a way to manage. People are just mostly out for themselves and if they are threatened they will turn on you. Even my closest friend for 20 years stopped talking to me after I had a baby and we had a falling out.

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