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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Women need to feel loved to want to make love. 
[/quote]

That's horse shit. The genders aren't all that different. It's not uncommon for women to enjoy meaningless sex. [/quote]
Actually, you’re wrong.  There is abundant academic research and popular writing that says exactly what the poster says. And I don’t believe the comment the poster was referring to was meaningless sex. You kind of went of the flying over the guide rails there and landed up on your bottom  in your own little world of meaninglessness. Oops.[/quote]

Acknowledged that (most) women need love to want sex.... waiting for some reasonable answer to why an UN-loved woman stays married.
Apparently, sex requires love. But marriage does not. [/quote]

Women stay in unloving marriages for the same reason men stay in low sex or sexless marriages. For the kids and convenience. For some women, the libido just shuts down if they aren't in a good space.[/quote]

This ^^^ is the scenario where husband declaring open marriage is in HER best interest. She wants to stay married, but not have sex. That’s just not possible for a man. She can only have what she wants if he’s getting his sex elsewhere.[/quote]You won't get anywhere with that argument on this board.  I'm a married man with a wife who has zero sex drive and doesn't care one bit about how that affects me.  She won't even discuss it.  So I've taken on an AP with the same issues in her marriage.  I answered questions for over 40 pages in another thread on this forum and I doubt I enlightened a single poster.  This forum is made up of too many married women who see themselves in these posts and don't want to face the fact that these belief systems are common to most people, not just men, who are denied sex in marriage.  Certainly my H is not like that.  He can just JO in the shower.[/quote]

You and I (both sane men) fully understand that the question here is not IF the denied husband is getting his sex elsewhere. We know there is zero doubt about that: 100% take it to the bank.
The question really is limited to: should he bother to TELL his sexless wife this fact? And I say Yes: he should inform her, as a courtesy. This avoids the whole pointless games where he needs to cover his tracks / lie about whereabouts / etc.[/quote]That's what I was told here for tens of pages while I insisted I'll never tell her.  I'd rather put up with the deception and let her be blissfully unaware.[/quote]

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